Archive for March, 2010

So poor old Elementum has been neglected for a few.  Not surprising, you might say, for that seems to be the inevitable fate of all aspiring bloggers….  outdated posts!  Not so, said the Joel!  For here I am, back again, pounding out words on the lovely black keys of my equally lovely macbook.

Sot it’s been crazy. I  feel like I’ve been given so many opportunities over the last week, that it’s impossible to write about them all.  From filming at a $15 million dollar mansion with two $100,000+ Porches, to having the Probe teaser trailer get featured by Blendernation… it seems like things are finally starting to look up for me.  Or is it?  For with this new fame comes the precious sacrifice of time and energy, something that always seems to be low with me these days.  But I’m living a dream, right?  Isn’t it worth the price?

I dreamed of being at a lake house last night.  Peaceful, serene.  No deadlines, no worries, no computers.  Just me and a lake.  I could finally get some rest there and experience some serenity.  When I woke up and reviewed the many things I had to do today, my mind went back to the lake house and how pleasant it would to be there.  But then I thought about it some more.  Would the Joel I know, the adventurous, super-active Joel be one who would want to just sit back and play “retired” like some kids play “house?”  Would I willilngly submit myself to the doldrums of peaceful resorts?

Heck no!  I’m alive now, guys.  Living the adventure as it comes.  And if you know anything about me, you’ll have to agree that living an adventure is something that I love/want/need to do.  And it’s coming!  It’s confirmed that this summer, Ryan Payne and I will be going to Africa for a month, starting out in an orphanage in Zimbabwe, on the outskirts of a village called Bulawayo.  God has really opened some doors for me to head there.  Of course, it comes with a cost, and at $3500 (Ryan’s best guess) I’ll certainly need some support.  But the adventure is there!

Not to mention the amazing things that are happening at the Digital Media Center.  The projects, people, contacts I make and the networking opportunities that come with it are as invaluable as ever, especially since Graduation looms this coming December.  So for all of this to be adventurizing my life, why would I want to escape somewhere else?  Why would I wish that I could be a hermit when there’s so much out there to live?

So my mind returns back to the present not with dreams of a peaceful lake house and sleepy peace, but rather to the excitement that goes hand-in-hand with an adventure that’s already happening.

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I sat down at the piano today and poured out all my thoughts.  Hmm.  ”Poured out my thoughts” sounds like the sensitive way of saying that I beat those ivory keys silly with all of the strength I had in me.  Major notes, minor notes, sevenths, elevenths, suspended, inversions, noise and beauty all enveloped me as I played.  I hashed out my very soul on the piano tonight inside my quiet home.  And the music… was perfect.

Music carried my emotions tonight.  Which is quite a burden to bear, and I apologize to the music for having to carry it, but I know it will forgive me.  There’s a lot on my mind recently, and music seemed to be the best way to grind it all up.  You see, in writing, u ned to hvae thins speled rite or esle they dont mkae much cents or flou wel.  There has to be a bit of cognitive thought put into the sentences, or else they’d all banana like the monkeys fried, if you know what I’m saying.  But with music?  It’s freeing.  Things don’t have to make sense.  If you suck… just call it purposeful discord and all of a sudden your musical pieces have depth… if you can resolve it.

Ah, resolutions.  Those were in plentiful want, with all the minor chords I was shredding on those ivory whites.  Shredding?  That’s a guitar metaphor.   …with all the minor chords that I played tonight.  There’s something satisfying about those resolutions… the progression between an Am and a C.  The Bm to a D.  You can transpose all you want, but a resolution is embedded into the chords.  A Bm (a particularly wonderful minor chord) is 2/3 of the way to a D, just like an Am contains two necessary keys to make its resolution, a C.  I haven’t taken music theory, but I do know that each minor chord carries its own resolution.  All you need is that extra fifth key–that last 1/3–to make it resolve.

Right now, I feel like I have so many minor keys in my life waiting for the resolution.  My dissatisfaction with school and my desire to be done, my plans for this summer and the impending trip to Africa, my friendships and the benefits and problems that come from the people I care about, the lack of someone to love with all of my heart, and my dissatisfaction with the story being told whose title is “Joel”.  These are the minor chords in my life….

But minor chords are so beautiful.  Played with a deep bass, they resound in the hollows of your chest and fill your soul with longing.  Played quietly in the upper octaves, their tinker-box melody will catch the attention of any ear.  And there’s nothing more satisfying when an entire symphony filled with instruments hits that solid minor key with the freight-train power of music behind it.  Minor keys make you cry, and they make you long for the resolution.

I’m longing for resolution.  These minor keys in my life contain the necessary parts for a resolution.  I’m just waiting for the Maker to write that resolution in the sheet music of my life.  I’m ready for some of these minor chords to resolve.  I’m ready for that swell of instruments to proclaim:  ”It’s finished!  And boy, is it good!”

Yet, the beautiful melody that is our lives continues, even with the minor keys in it.  I’ve heard the “If God took away a choice we’d all be robots” argument a thousand times.  I’d challenge it by saying:  ”Have you ever heard a good song that had only major chords?”  No, it’s the minor keys that give our lives contrast.  It makes us appreciate the major chords all the more.

So let those minor chords be banged out on the piano tonight.  I know that in life, that musical resolution will come.

I drove back to Chattanooga today.  Five hours drive all by myself, left alone to my moodiness and appropriately timed playlist called “epic soundracks”.  The recipie for–no!–not disaster, but a pretty decent drive.  Now, this all would have been a great opportunity to do some thinking, except for the fact that my dad woke me up at 6:50 in the morning (having gone to bed at 1:00) and we were on the road at 7:40.  So, the opportunity to think and drive was ruined merely because of a lack of sleep?!  Lame!

Therefore, the entire five hour journey was a bitter struggle not to succumb to the sleep that my body so desperately required.  But I made it.  I’m not dead, and I’m glad.  I still have that tropical island from a few posts back to retire to.

Tonight I got the opportunity to set things straight.  I took my three youngest siblings, Heidi, Jesse, and Daniel, out to eat at Genghis Grill with Cobalt and our friend Stuart.  Before we went out to eat though, the kids and I ran over to a playground where we played tag on the playground and swung on the swings.  I not only made some new friends with some little kids playing on the playground with me, but I also started an epic game of tag, filled with laughing and squeals of delight.  It was beautiful.

So my passing comment to this short blog is this: if ever you’re feeling like your existence is too overwhelming, and that you have to think for five hours about  life, the universe, and everything, then you should try what I did.  Go play on a playground.  It’s a wonderful remedy.

Goodnight all!

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